Inside of me lives a monster. A monster that thrives on competition, obsesses overs perfection, follow stats and condones violence. This monster compels me to paint my nails, my face and my body to show support for a team. This monster values sacrifice and bravery. This monster has no problem starting fights. This monster has a name and it is Sport Fanatic.
“Monster?” you say, “Surely she is exaggerating.” I am not. I realized I had a problem years ago at a football game. I was there to support my friend’s daughter who was cheering. I had no stake in the game and no knowledge of the teams. I wasn’t even there to watch the game. Yet, I still found myself right there on the sidelines, and when it looked like there was going to be a runaway play, found myself screaming at the defence to “BRING HIM DOWN! DOWN TO THE GROUND!”
Then I came to my senses and it registered that this was a midget flag football game. In no other setting would I ever ask one five-year-old to harm another and even in that setting I really should not have been doing so. That’s when I realized I had to do something. That’s when I realized the monster needed to be locked away.
And I have locked the monster away. I avert my eyes in restaurants that play sports channels. I change the station when they start talking sports on the radio. I don’t even follow my old teams anymore. I think I have made a recovery. I think I have beaten the monster. The monster is just a specter that lets me enjoy sports movies and who I sometimes let out during the Olympics.
The other day we had a two-hour delay due to icy road conditions. I woke up and was ready at my regular time, but did not need to go into work as usual and did not really want to be driving in the dark anyhow. I felt purposeless, as there really wasn’t enough time before sunrise when I would leave for me to get anything done and I knew that if I tried going back to sleep I would just wrinkle my clothes and most likely end up being late. So I sat on my couch and did my newest obsession, read teacher blogs.
I came across this:
And the monster awakened. It awakened and has mated with the mild-mannered book nerd that was it’s cellmate inside me. It has made friends with other people I work with, people who seemed normal but obviously have a little crazy inside of them too. The monster is coming out to lead a school-wide Battle of the Books. There’s no stopping it now.
The monster is back. Stay tuned for updates on the havoc it produces, the relationships it ruins and the chaos it creates.